Getting Back in the Swing of Things

     "Hello World" That's right, I'm back. I hope it's going to be an ongoing thing. I've had some rough times on and off since I last posted.Yes I know I haven't posted on here since 2010, and for that I am sorry. I have over the last year or so been a bit more active on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter, and I'll post links to those later on.
      I lost my best friend to suicide. That was pretty hard on me, I took an overdose of sleeping pills and wound up in the Behavioral Health facility, about a week or so before Christmas 2011. I don't know if I was trying to kill myself or just looking for an excuse to get help.  I did manage to get home before Christmas.  Along with getting the help I needed at the moment, I left with a more solid diagnosis.  Bipolar with Psychosis, and PTSD.
     This led to new medicines, one set of which I did not react well to.  They quickly switched me to some older meds, and I had an almost immediate improvement in my overall state of mind.  I've been on this new medication for several months  now, and until recently, I've been doing a lot better.
    That is, up till a few weeks ago.  I once again began to see things and hear voices.  The combination of just dealing with the sheer state of it, along with what the voices are telling me has put me in a pretty depressed state.  I was doing so much better I agreed to help out a friend of mine with some computer work.  I'm still committed to helping, this coming Friday.  But I go Tuesday of next week to see my Dr.  I'm afraid they will want to send me to the hospital again, and I really don't want to go down that road.
     Speaking of which, I had a major case of depression going on today, while the wife and kids where out.  I tried to fend it off alone but to no avail.   I wound up instant messaging a friend online who walked me though some things to do to help with this.  You know who you are and that I love you and thank you for being there for me, even though you have a busy life.
     That's all I have to say about today.   I can't promise tomorrow but I will try my best, upon the advice of friends, I shall attempt once again to journal my life here, and hope for a better tomorrow for me.

Its been a long while

Since I last posted. Sorry about that folks. Its been a hectic and at times difficult month. I've been down some, well a lot in the dumps. I have a podcast, focusing on music about mental illness ready to record, but I just havent felt up to recording it. Maybe I'll do it sometime tomorrow or the next day. Good night world.

Monday Post

I'm posting. LoL sure thats not a real post but its a path way to a post. I'm working on content for a new podcast, about Mental Illness and the like. I hope to have it posted Friday. It wont be podsafe but it should be good I hope.

Circus, outings and updates

Took the kids to the Circus on Thursday, and we all had a blast, lots of Fun, and Allen and Charity came with us. It was good seeing them, I wish we had more time to hang out with them and such.
Today we went to the Whitten center and park area and had a little picnic for dinner/supper. it was fun, the kids enjoyed themselves and it was nice quiet time with the family. I'm still feeling anxious and nervous a good deal of the time. Don't know where it comes from but it's here on a regular basis.

Tired today

Been kinda sleepy today but i havent laid around in bed or napped any. I've gone to the store to get some medicine for the small girl, as well as ran a few other errands. I did lounge a bit to read but I consider that productive. Its been a decent day.
Reading Percy Jackson and the Olypians, the Lightning Thief, and its been enjoyable the first few hundred pages anyway.

Well I'm Up

and moving around, getting a snack of some sort to keep me going. We are taking the small girl back to the doctor to check on her spots again. Hopefully the Dr. will say she's fine and then we'll take her on to school.
ELSE we go see another dr about what the next steps are .

Bad Morning, better afternoon

I had a rough morning with me not wanting to get back up after the kids saw their baskets. I have a lot of trouble getting going in the mornings, I fought with my wife, we argued a good bit. after noon and after i got up. we hid eggs for the kids, which was fun for them. Later we took them to the riverwalk and flew kites for a while, blew bubbles too. we then went out to eat mexican, followed by coming home to play outside a bit more, it was fun.
as far as the morning goes, i really think i'm not getting quality sleep. I still wake up a bunch at night, and i don't feel rested when i wake up. Excuses maybe but its the truth, I dont think I'm getting quality sleep, even with my Sleep Apnea machine. Maybe the settings on it need adjusting, maybe I need something else to help me sleep, maybe something is just out of whack with me, who knows.